What Should Single Muslims Need to Know About Muslim Dating
Single Muslims know that marriage is a fundamental part of the Islamic religion. It is a way to not only be taken care of emotionally, physically and spiritually, but it's an opportunity for you to give as well. Your spouse, in other words, is half your deen (religion). However, before jumping into a serious matter, such as marriage, it is important to understand the person you're getting to know. But what exactly must you know before getting married?
Ask the right questions and don't be afraid
Often times, due to cultural stigma, we think certain questions shouldn't be asked, or are inappropriate. However, that shouldn't be the case when you're considering a lifelong partner.
Here are a few questions you may want to consider during your date:
What is your concept of marriage?
Single Muslims shouldn't assume that their date has the same concept of marriage just because they're Muslim. Islam may give us a broad framework of the ideas associated with marriage, but everyone can interpret those ideas in their own way. It's your job to make sure your ideas aren't contradictory.
Are you a spiritual person? How do you define spiritual?
It's important to realize that spiritual and religious are not necessarily the same thing to everyone. Some may view spirituality as a personal relationship with God, not intended to be purely ritualistic. In other words, they don't pray, or fast, for example. On the other hand, some may view spirituality as purely ritualistic, but don't put effort in self-exploration and discovering the importance of Islam in their general life. Everyone has the right to adopt whatever perspective they wish, but you need to be clear on what your date's opinion is, and if it coincides with yours.
What is the role of a husband/wife?
People tend to confuse this one question a lot! This idea comes down to upbringing, culture and, again, religious interpretation. Every Muslim household within an Egyptian, Indian, Nigerian and other countries differs. The problem, however, is that single Muslims have certain expectations when they're getting married, which can problematic. You can't expect, or assume, your future husband/wife shares the same ideas as you. Ask questions that are complex and simple, such as, 1. Is it the wife, or husband's role to be the main breadwinner? 2. Is it expected of the wife or husband to stay at home to take care of the children?
Do you want children?
Don't assume that everyone who wants to get married wants children. Some people may be more focused on careers, for example, and don't care to have children.
These are only a few questions of a list that you should be asking your future spouse. If Islam describes marriage as half your deen (religion), then every single Muslim needs to do serious investigative work during their Muslim dating expedition.